Sunday, 31 October 2010


Oh dear.

The best laid plans of rats and boys.

The night was painful, despite would should have been enough pain-killers to keep a horse tranquil for 8 hours.

But, neigh.

However, the side effects were effective - namely the drowsiness. So the first leg of my car journey to the seaside (my lovely car, beautifully restored, valeted, waxed and polished ...) via Surrey, was a pretty scary experience. I wasn't really in any danger as such, but I kept having mini panic-rushes, as my drowsiness kicked in - a large can of Red Bull did nothing. By the time I got to Surrey to see the folks, it was obvious I would be completely mental to drive myself to Worthing. I couldn't do it. I felt anxious and fundamentally unsafe.

I felt bad.

I know Simon understands but I hate blowing him out. Most people I'll happily blow out, especially when there's football on, but not him. Not Simon.

But, as I knew, Simon was only concerned with my safely/health/sanity and ... well ... I love you man and we'll try again after the next session. Train, ahoy.

I've seen a lot of family today - something that I now really love. No longer a duty, it's a pleasure to be with my step-dad, dad, sisters, nans recently ... I just like being around them.

Saying that, call first.

The pain is a concern. 160mg of Oxy and still pain that breaks through.

I think we know what this means.

I've just arrived back home. Another very edgy journey - but better to do it on an empty M25, than a busy Monday. The pain is back again - just necked my evening doses.

It's tough. Cancer takes and takes and takes.

It even takes my little seaside break.

Cancer is rubbish. FACT.

1 comment:

Simon said...

Look on the bright side. At least you got a bloody good headline out of it. Opportunities like that don't come along every day.