Ta-da!
As promised, here's a snap-shot of the offending Spleeneroony. This picture is taken from my CT scan 'movie' disk (one for the grandkids, eh) and has been recently been smuggled out - '24' style - by my secret agent working from within the hospital.
Now you're probably need a little orientation to understand this mass of grey, so bear with me.
1. You are looking at cross section of me, a slice
2. We have travelled from my head, down my body, towards my feet.
2. My 'bum' is on the floor, my tummy is sticking up
3. The brite white round-ish thing is my spine
With me? Right - we have just travelled down through my body towards my feet and stopped here - where you will see the large lumpy lumperson on the right hand side. The great glob of stuff is my spleen.
1. Note how it is pushing my kidney below. Look at the other kidney on the left for where is should be
2. Up and the the left of this squashed kidney is where my intestines are - they have been pushed and squashed to the left
3. The darker 'shadows' in the spleen, I have been told, is the badness growing within. Badness being cancer.
4. Note how it's pushing my stomach out at the top - I can feel him and give him a little pat now and again. For a small fee, I'll let you feel him too. But no patting.
All of this explains quite nicely why I have been walking around like a hunchback recently, clutching my side and grumbling (ok, I always grumble, but...)
I'm not 100% sure how big the spleen should be, but I'm fairly certain this is no ordinary garden variety spleen. This is a prize winning, jumbo-spleen that shall proudly sport a '1st' ribbon come the next annual Kings Langley Internal Organ Growing Competition.
I am so proud.
