Saturday, 20 November 2010

"thank you for calling us today. your call is very important to us. please hold."

Unfortunately our call-logging system is under heavy strain and has come to a crashing halt.


I can't write very much at the moment, as I fall asleep. I'm very heavily medicated writing anything just pulls me into Mr Snoozy World. When it comes to the quick email/txts on the Blackberry, I get double-vision and a simple two line reply becomes a headache.

However, this morning, I've taken this rare window of opportunity of 'a tad of energy' to state that ...

1. I've read every txt, email, Facebook message and letter that has been sent.
2. I've listened to every voice mail

However, I will not be able to reply to hardly any of them, due to low energy and the fact that there is just too much to go into with certain people.

What I need to do is to try to update the blog to tell you what's going on but again, the above apply.

I need a PA.

But in the absence of that ...

1. I am in a Peace Hospice in Watford - I am happy here (relative)
2. I will be sent home in a the coming week
3. I have a 'family meeting' on Tuesday where we will be told of the plan
4. I have been looked after amazingly, but there have been some tough times - lots of opportunities for tales about lack of sleep, sleeping non-stop when you don't want to, nightmares, night-sweats, tablets the size of rodents, constipation from hell ... all the kind of things I normally can draw out into a separate blog entry ... but now I'm on 'the other side', it hardly seems worth mentioning somehow.
5. I rarely want to see people - not personal, but the snoozing and lack of 'hey, it's me!', make it hard to be entertaining. I fall asleep on my guests, walking up 3 minutes later, talking shit. Also, guests want to talk about my illness all the time and I would much prefer it if we could about something else. I mean, sure, it's gonna come up and I will talk about it, but I like it when people bring me tales and gossip from the outside world.

I am snoozing more as I write this. There is a ton of new medical stuff I could tell you - lots of interesting new procedures and boxes that I have strapped to me, but I don't have the energy today.

After all, this blog is really just to say that I'm reading all your message of love, that they are appreciated and I'm sorry it's one-way traffic at the moment.

Love you all.


(oh, if you were having trouble viewing my weepy video above, it should now be fixed)


Anonymous said...

I saw this article as I was thinking about "estimates" for terminal illness. And then I thought to myself, if anyone is going to defy medical knowledge and out-of-box estimates, it is probably going to be Spence.

Anonymous said...

They chopped my link.

Anonymous said...

where it says "inde", replace with


Is this blogging software written in Ruby On Rails or something? what a POS

Jen said...

Spence, So grateful you allowed me to come and see you, and even seemed to want to see me last week, 3 days before you left us - I keep reading this blog and seem to read something new each time - this time that you don't want to see anyone and I feel lucky to have caught you. I was so shocked to see my Spence, a shell of your former self and although so sad that you've left us, you were suffering Wednesday - and you're no longer suffering, for that I'm kind of grateful.
I love you and you'll always be a part of my life