your crosses fail

Uncross everything. It didn't work.

It's been confirmed I'm here for "about a week" longer. Thank you for my 120 minutes of unfounded hope.

My 'neutrophils' (white blood cell count) should be about 4 when healthy and they are heading south now below 1.8. Obviously this is the Danger Zone they want to see me over, where infections can spring up in a heartbeat.

I tried to go down to the shops. I wasn't allowed as my blood pressure is still very low when standing, so I'm literally just sitting on a bed 24/7 now.

Obviously I'm fucked off. But accepting. There's nothing else to be. There's no point stressing too much, as even when I get out, it's all got to be repeated, so it's not like there was a brilliant light at the end of the tunnel.

I guess I was just looking forward to a coffee shop with some mates, a bath, some proper WiFi, watching HD soccer, a bit of retail therapy and some music making ... The odd things you miss.

I guess all that might be irrelevant to me soon, as I crash and don't feel like doing anything at all except sleeping. Best get it out the way ... Time moves quick enough ... Its not as slow as you might expect.

Still, who'd be me, huh? Whatever you're up to this weekend, I'm sure it will be more exciting than what I've got on.