Wednesday, 15 December 2010

The End

As many of you may know, Spencer passed away at 12:40 in the afternoon of the 5th December 2010, at The Peace Hospice in Watford. His passing was peaceful and he was not alone - his father, his closest friend John and his favourite nurse were all with him. It seems obvious to say that he will be sadly missed by many people - both Facebook and this blog show clearly how much he was loved and respected.

A memorial service will be held at 1:20pm next Monday, the 20th December at West Herts Crematorium, High Elms Lane, Garston, Hertfordshire, WD25 0JS. This will be followed by a gathering for friends, family and colleagues at Bar Bodega, 151 The Parade, Watford, WD17 1NA. There is no formal dress code but please let your attire show Spence that you made an effort for him.

Please do not send any flowers - that money could be used in a much more lasting way. Any charitable contributions are considered to be private but we would prefer that any donations be made to either The Peace Hospice or Cancer Research UK. The Peace Hospice was responsible for giving Spence a fantastic amount of love and support in his last few weeks. He could not have spent his remaining time in a more special, caring and peaceful place.

Hot and cold food and drinks will be provided at Bar Bodega, courtesy of Spencer and John. We will be making a collection for The Peace Hospice there and any contributions will be warmly received. Free car parking for Bar Bodega will be available a short walk away at 44 Clarendon Road, Watford.

Please join us. Not in mourning Spence's death but in celebrating his life and the many and varied contributions he made to everybody who knew him.

Please remember that Spence found sobriety in the last 9 years and, even in his darkest moments over the last year, stoically maintained sobriety. If you wish to raise a glass or two to him then please do so. However we do understand that some of Spence's friends enjoy similar sobriety and we would ask that they find similar strengths to join us for the afternoon. It's all too easy at these times to seek to blot out the pain, Spencer wouldn't have wanted that.


Evan Breitsch said...

SpencerSteel is how I knew him. He gave me kind but honest advice on my music. I feel that the effects of his feedback have really impacted the quality of my music. I believe that the music of myself and of everyone to whom Spencer so generously gave his attentive and helpful review is one of the innumerable ways that Spencer lives on.

Anonymous said...

This is very sad to know. Last I had a forum discussion with him was just before he went to hospital last time. Spencer, you will be missed.

herman said...

bye Spencer, we won't forget you as one of the best musicians. and you know what? "Deleting All Contacts" be my fave song & be my ringtone..
miss u..

Anonymous said...

When someone dies, it is almost always a conclusive and welcomed relief of peace and comfort, preceeded by the less pleasant moments (or in Spencer's case months) before it.

The real tragedy is that those close to the deceased are not in comfort, but mourning. In Spencer's case his friends and family suffered during his illness, and still feel pain long after his is over.

There are those who die because of poor lifestyle choices, or they just give up. Those left behind have reason to be bitter at this category of deceased, because their fate seems somewhat selfish.

Spencer was quite the opposite of this, there was nothing selfish about his demise. Not only did he fight as hard as he could to battle his illness, enduring whatever pain or discomfort was necessary to be sure he had covered all bases with regard to treatment, but he took time out to share his experiences, however embarassing they might have been with him, not only to those close to him but to anyone who might have stumbled across his blog!

For this reason, when I think of Spencer, I will regard him as a hero and someone I hope I have the strength to be like when my time comes.

Anonymous said...

We miss you on the Image-Line forums Spencer.

Michael said...

I first started following Spencer and his blog(s) quite some years ago, and we quickly developed something of an online friendship - I'm also in recovery (19 years sober and clean now), and Spence took somewhat of an interest in my Buddhist practise.

It was through him that I met Martin (Collyer) here in Australia, with whom I've caught up with a few times. I always told Spencer there was a place to crash at my house if he ever came Down Under, and he often remarked that hopefully one day we would meet. Unfortunately, that never come to pass. I've too had my own recent ongoing health issues, though somehow that seems to fall into insignificance when I see what he's been through. It's been quite some time since I've 'checked' in with him. This news has just reached and hit me.

I know he loved his music, so as soon as I am able I'm going to head off to a live performance of a good band here in the city. Except I won't be alone. I know his spirit will be with me. So Spence, mate, I'm not going to say goodbye. I'll say see you at the gig. Looking forward to it. We'll raise a glass of non-alcoholic beverage, and have a laugh. Later, we might even finally take that meditation together.

Michael Poole
Sydney, Australia

Anonymous said...

I miss Spencer. I cannot speak for him, but on my final blog thread I really hope nobody posts links to blatant porn, gay or otherwise. That's a little tasteless.

Anonymous said...

Hi Spence.

Checking in since I know you're reading. No need to respond :).

Just wanted to say you're in my thoughts. The bravery with which you shared the last 12 months of your life here with all who were willing to read is appreciated, and although I never met you in person on earth, you are at the top of my after-life contact list to look up when I get there for a meeting and chat. I look forward to that, because great people here on mortal earth aren't always in ample supply, it seems they tend to go where you are. I sincerely look forward to joining you my friend, whenever my time to do so is handed to me.

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to pop by to tell you that I love you and I think about you every day. I miss you so much......

Anonymous said...

Specer, i've just spent the day reading your blog after finding it searching for some answers in my own journey to health and becoming free from addiction. You have a rare wit and i admire your strength. Thank you for unselfishly recording your year. Your final post of "night" brought tears to my eyes, i hope you are enjoying a heavenly sleep.

Rachel said...

Spencer I think of you often and my thoughts bring me to your final blog which i followed every day through your last year here on Earth, following that awful day when I received your text telling me you had cancer.
I first got to know you through your blog on AA and sobriety - I was newly sober myself at the age of 27 and your blog struck a chord with me - here was another young person struggling in the same way I was, but managing to do it sober. You inspired me. We became friends through that blog and I wish so much that I could read it again because it was wonderful. Here I am, now over 8 years sober, and I miss you. I wonder what it is like where you are. I wish your light had burned a little longer, but it was not to be. Love Rach x

Anonymous said...

Spence mate, 3 years later and people are still checking in to tell you they love you and miss you - what an incredible impact you had on our lives?? You are a hero. Imperfect and faulted with too my hair gel but without doubt a hero. Love you, thinking of you... You say that love goes anywhere, in your darkest times it's just enough to know its there... Jimmy Eat World xxx